In Celebration of the Life of Tim Starr

We survived... I survived this past Saturday: September 20th, Tim's Celebration of Life Memorial Service.  It was a beautiful Ithaca day, sunny with some clouds and lots of wind.  On our ride down to Cass Park where the service was held I am pretty sure I saw two hawks flying- that was reassuring.


I had a lot of anxiety leading up to today some was relieved when I had finally finished the photo slideshow I had started working on days after Tim died.  But I thought I'd be a mess of tears and emotions; I wasn't. Yes, I definitely cried but wasn't hysterical.  I believe Tim sent us his strength and positive energy and we were surrounded by so much love and support.


I thought I'd feel like I would shit my pants when I had to go up there and speak but I found myself feeling strong and almost excited to speak about Tim and present his awesome life in pictures.  Below is what I spoke and the video that followed.


But now I feel somewhat deflated and confused. What's the next step? I keep expecting Tim to show up now and say, "ha ha this is all a joke, I'm alive."  But in reality, I know I have to start learning to live the rest of my life without Tim in body and start building my relationship with him in spirit, mind, and heart.  It seems awfully emotionally exhausting but I know I can do it because there are hundreds of people who loved and were touched by Tim cheering me and our family on. 


What I said at Tim's Celebration of Life:

Words fail me... I don't know how to convey the love I have for Tim and what an amazing person he was.

I created this video not only to try and depict his awesome life, but to help me feel closer to him. I think you will see that these pictures speak for themselves.

Tim was my brother. He was also a son, a grandson, nephew, cousin, and most recently, he’d had the joy of becoming an uncle to our daughter Gabby.

Tim's passion for fun and his never-ending energy was seen in all the things he loved to do: he was a hockey player, Boy Scout, motorcyclist, snowboarder, and climber. All activities I was too scared to pursue.... Yet, Tim’s love for life was contagious. He did manage to convince me to get on the back of his motorcycle, and yes, I've even donned hockey skates and downhill skis to glide alongside him.

Tim was a friend to many— including strangers— but to me, he grew to be one of my best friends. He was a real goofball, a legacy I believe was left to him by our Dad. My favorite memories are ones where Tim and I were acting silly and laughing, like how he loved to show me stupid YouTube videos or I how I would break into dance just to hear that laugh of his.

Tim was a doting husband to his wife Kelly, and it was
through Tim that Kelly and I became not just friends, but sisters. Their love for each other set such a high standard, one that we should all aspire to.

But mainly Tim was an adventurer- always looking for the unknown: Where can I explore? What can I learn? Who can I meet? His dedication to pursuing the answers to these questions are what will sustain me for the rest of my life.

I want to honor Tim by exploring more, following my curiosity, and seeking further knowledge. Because with all the passion Tim had for life, there was no room to be afraid. In memory of Tim, I want to honor him by doing the things he loved. I’ve promised myself that before too long, I’ll be strapping into a snowboard for the first time, and heading to Bartels Hall at Cornell to scale to the top of Lindseth climbing wall.

Like Tim, I want to find deeper connections with family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. I just want to make Tim proud.
I love you, bro.